Questions to Ask Before Marriage
From Adviceopedia
If you're ready to tie the knot, consider some important questions to ask before marriage. As with any major life decision, go into it knowing as much as you possibly can. Spend a few moments to understand the person you plan to be with for the rest of your life.
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Many Questions to Ask Before Marriage
Many people feel they truly know their soon-to-be spouses inside and out, but it's still normal to hear about couples that suddenly reach a crossroads. Subjects like money and children are the most argued about issues among married couples. Unfortunately, heated discussions can turn into arguments very quickly, and before either party knows it, a major problem has arisen.
The good news is that situations like these can be avoided if the right questions are asked before that walk down the aisle. Discuss now a few essential topics in order to avoid difficulties in the future.
Do You Want to Have Children?
The decision to have children is a common problem. One person may discover several years down the line that the other does not want to have children at all. This is a point of conflict that can cause serious problems between the couple and may lead to divorce. It's important to have this discussion before the marriage, if only to save the person who wants children from any future heartache. While it may be difficult to come to an agreement on a topic like this – and in some cases might even be impossible – it's best for everyone involved to work it out beforehand.
How to Allot Our Finances?
Right up there with the subject of having children, money is a big cause of tension among couples. It may start out as an intense discussion, but before long, those discussions have turned into loud arguments that result in lots of hurt feelings. Avoid this by going over your finances in detail before you get married. Often, the biggest problems arise when one person knows more about all of the finances than the other does. The key is to be aware of all aspects of your financial life together, from bank accounts and statements to monthly expenses and debts. Things to consider include:
- Debt: Does an individual debt become a shared debt? Are you willing to help your spouse in this regard if he or she wants it?
- Smart spending: Is your future spouse smart with his or her money? Does he or she spend without a second thought for the future?
- Everyday finances: Personal spending is a big issue for anyone who loves to splurge on big-ticket items or small indulgences. Consider allocating fun money for these types of purchases, or reserve a certain amount per month that will go toward them.
- Bill payments: Are all the household expenses shared by a joint account? Will one person pay for a particular expense?
Do You Trust Each Other?
Trust is a huge issue. Asking about trust doesn't have to hold any negative connotations or be some sort of veiled accusation. It's simply a way of assuring each other that there is complete trust in the relationship and respect for one another. These are simple requirements of any solid relationship. If there are any doubts, it's best to get them cleared up before getting married!
Are You Managing Conflicts Well?
Of the many questions to ask before marriage, asking yourself it you manage conflicts well is less common but ranked just as high. Chances are you already know how well your partner and you resolve your conflicts. If your major discussions or arguments tend to end badly or you find yourself arguing more and more frequently, it might be worth seeking counseling before taking a step towards marriage.
Do You Love Each Other Just as You Are?
If you've been together for a long time, then the odds are good that you love each other as you are. Even so, it's an important question to ask. There should be no intention of changing the other person in any way, which is where the important topic of unconditional love comes in. Individuals who love each other unconditionally take each other as they are.
Do You Have Any Fears of Marriage?
Cold feet may seem like the type of thing that only happens in movies and soap operas, but it's very real – and it can have an obviously negative impact on any couple. Instead of waiting until the last minute to express your feelings this way, be open and honest with your partner about any fears or doubts you might have about the future. This is an excellent opportunity to discuss many of the issues described above, in a forthright manner.
